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Dhara Kivlehan

Dhara Kivlehan married Michael Kivlehan and was starting a family she attended the maternity unit in Sligo and after her mistreatment was airlifted to Belfast hospital were she died.

They meet in Londonin 2002, fell in love, moved back to Ireland and were married in 2005. Dhara died in 2010 it has taken 4 years for the inquest and investigation to happen.

http://www.independent.ie/irish-news/courts/i-will-not-stand-for-this-its-a-coverup-shame-on-you-30436928.html

Mrs Kivlehan was two weeks over her due date when she arrived at Sligo General Hospital on September 20 in labour.

However the results of blood tests taken that afternoon – which showed “grossly abnormal liver function and grossly abnormal kidney function” – were not followed up by her doctors or reported back by the lab for another 12 hours.

Her baby son, Dior, was delivered by C section shortly before 6am the following morning.

The hearing was told two doctors in Sligo agreed that the emergency procedure should be carried to deliver the baby and then Mrs Kivlehan should be treated in intensive care.

The civil action last year heard she was instead transferred to a side room off the maternity ward for a day and a half with no specialist care before being moved to ICU
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Mrs Kivlehan was two weeks over her due date when she arrived at Sligo General Hospital on September 20 in labour.

However the results of blood tests taken that afternoon – which showed “grossly abnormal liver function and grossly abnormal kidney function” – were not followed up by her doctors or reported back by the lab for another 12 hours.

Her baby son, Dior, was delivered by C section shortly before 6am the following morning.

The hearing was told two doctors in Sligo agreed that the emergency procedure should be carried to deliver the baby and then Mrs Kivlehan should be treated in intensive care.

The civil action last year heard she was instead transferred to a side room off the maternity ward for a day and a half with no specialist care before being moved to ICU

- See more at: http://www.independent.ie/irish-news/courts/i-will-not-stand-for-this-its-a-coverup-shame-on-you-30436928.html#sthash.NpWRoLtv.dpuf

Mrs Kivlehan was two weeks over her due date when she arrived at Sligo General Hospital on September 20 in labour.

However the results of blood tests taken that afternoon – which showed “grossly abnormal liver function and grossly abnormal kidney function” – were not followed up by her doctors or reported back by the lab for another 12 hours.

Her baby son, Dior, was delivered by C section shortly before 6am the following morning.

The hearing was told two doctors in Sligo agreed that the emergency procedure should be carried to deliver the baby and then Mrs Kivlehan should be treated in intensive care.

The civil action last year heard she was instead transferred to a side room off the maternity ward for a day and a half with no specialist care before being moved to ICU

- See more at: http://www.independent.ie/irish-news/courts/i-will-not-stand-for-this-its-a-coverup-shame-on-you-30436928.html#sthash.NpWRoLtv.dpuf

Mrs Kivlehan was two weeks over her due date when she arrived at Sligo General Hospital on September 20 in labour.

However the results of blood tests taken that afternoon – which showed “grossly abnormal liver function and grossly abnormal kidney function” – were not followed up by her doctors or reported back by the lab for another 12 hours.

Her baby son, Dior, was delivered by C section shortly before 6am the following morning.

The hearing was told two doctors in Sligo agreed that the emergency procedure should be carried to deliver the baby and then Mrs Kivlehan should be treated in intensive care.

The civil action last year heard she was instead transferred to a side room off the maternity ward for a day and a half with no specialist care before being moved to ICU.

- See more at: http://www.independent.ie/irish-news/courts/i-will-not-stand-for-this-its-a-coverup-shame-on-you-30436928.html#sthash.NpWRoLtv.dpuf

Mrs Kivlehan was two weeks over her due date when she arrived at Sligo General Hospital on September 20 in labour.

However the results of blood tests taken that afternoon – which showed “grossly abnormal liver function and grossly abnormal kidney function” – were not followed up by her doctors or reported back by the lab for another 12 hours.

Her baby son, Dior, was delivered by C section shortly before 6am the following morning.

The hearing was told two doctors in Sligo agreed that the emergency procedure should be carried to deliver the baby and then Mrs Kivlehan should be treated in intensive care.

The civil action last year heard she was instead transferred to a side room off the maternity ward for a day and a half with no specialist care before being moved to ICU.

- See more at: http://www.independent.ie/irish-news/courts/i-will-not-stand-for-this-its-a-coverup-shame-on-you-30436928.html#sthash.NpWRoLtv.dpuf

The hearing was told two doctors in Sligo agreed that the emergency procedure should be carried to deliver the baby and then Mrs Kivlehan should be treated in intensive care.

The civil action last year heard she was instead transferred to a side room off the maternity ward for a day and a half with no specialist care before being moved to ICU.

- See more at: http://www.independent.ie/irish-news/courts/i-will-not-stand-for-this-its-a-coverup-shame-on-you-30436928.html#sthash.NpWRoLtv.dpuf

 
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Posted by on July 17, 2014 in Uncategorized

 

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DC131 or I am going to be a first year!

22 to years ago when the CAO results came out I was in town with the girls from my year with the new edition of tomorrow’s newspaper, trying to look up the sting of numbers which hopefully was printed with against the course code I wanted. I didn’t see the code and I went home on the last bus to double check again on the kitchen table, I didn’t get what I wanted that year but I did two years later.

But they say 3 times the charm and this morning so much has changed in those 22 years, including how I got my offer. It arrived by text message, saying I had an offer for course code DC 131 and to log in to the CAO site to accept it. DC131 is the Degree in Communication Studies in Dublin City University.

Today I am giddy with excitement, the details and concerns as to how I make it all happen, the grant applications, the child cared ect can all wait for 24 hours while I revel in the idea that I am going to college this Autumn and all going well in a few short years I will graduate.

Most people go to university as a teen, I am going as a mature student. I am really looking forward to it. Just hope I don’t give in the urge to straighten the collars and pull down the shirts of my fellow first years.

 

 

 
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Posted by on July 5, 2014 in Uncategorized

 

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What about the Menz!

This post has be simmering for a while, but before I start let me just don this fendora.

fendora

Right lets do this. I have written a lot over the years about how I came to be a feminist, being a feminist and how that is important to me. Having grown up to be a woman in this society I am aware of the double standards, mixed messages, unreachable standards and limitations in how girls are socialized and women are expected to behave. I knew when I had my daughter some of the battles and struggles she would have to face.

I did have my son first and did think life would be easier for him, but I found out he has his own set of battles and struggles with the double standards, mixed messages, unreachable standards and limitations in how boys are socialized and men are expected to behave.

One of the people who helped open my eyes to this was Tom “Devore” Murphy.¬† in our many back and forth debating and discussing the topic of feminism over the years, one of his salient points was I don’t know what it is to grow up with the societal messages that boys don’t cry, boys are smelly, boys aren’t emotionally intelligent, men aren’t caring, and that other then aggression or pride few emotional expression are considered ok for men.

Yes both my brats have ASD, which means we have had to do a lot of work around emotions, figuring them out, what they are feeling, best ways to express those emotions, how other’s are feeling and being compassionate and considerate of others. This type of work is not done with most boys, girls learn it’s ok to talk about their feelings, boys don’t, boys get lessons in how to appear emotionally tough for when they have to go out and interact in male company.

These lessons can from family often unknowingly, from media, from peers from school, society and even media aimed at children. This youtube clip is 7 years old.

So what, do I as a feminist think is meant by the saying Patriarchy hurts men too.

Patriarchy is to me the promotion and enforcement of gender roles and stereotypes for the good of society. Thing is I didn’t grow up in a gender stereotypical family, My parents took turns being the stay at home parent, my Dad was reared in a household were hands had no gender, he had no issues 39 years ago changing my terry cloth nappies or making apple tarts. So much of what patriarchy promotes I have always known to be bullshit.

I see how such gendered enforcement holds back girls and boys, girls I would have always said more, I had believe that as gendered stereotypes were broken down, mostly by women and girls it would effect positively for boys and men.

For Every Woman
By Nancy R. Smith, copyright 1973

For every woman who is tired of acting weak when she knows she is strong, there is a man who is tired of appearing strong when he feels vulnerable.

For every woman who is tired of acting dumb, there is a man who is burdened with the constant expectation of “knowing everything.”

For every woman who is tired of being called “an emotional female,” there is a man who is denied the right to weep and to be gentle.

For every woman who is called unfeminine when she competes, there is a man for whom competition is the only way to prove his masculinity.

For every woman who is tired of being a sex object, there is a man who must worry about his potency.

For every woman who feels “tied down” by her children, there is a man who is denied the full pleasures of shared parenthood.

For every woman who is denied meaningful employment or equal pay, there is a man who must bear full financial responsibility for another human being.

For every woman who was not taught the intricacies of an automobile, there is a man who was not taught the satisfactions of cooking.

For every woman who takes a step toward her own liberation, there is a man who finds the way to freedom has been made a little easier.

But I have now come to see there has to be a complimentary body of work to be done, by men and boys for men and boys and supported by women and girls. Feminism is for me not just about smashing patriarchy, it is not just about equal rights and opportunities, it is about encouraging women and girls to speak out and speak up about what needs to chance and empowering them to make changes. I think boys and men need something the same along those line. I don’t think it’s feminism job to do it for them, I don’t think it would be right for me as a feminist to tell men what needs doing in how they related to each other and what should get priority in their movement.

I have tried before to get an action group up and going to agitate and petition for paternity leave (there is no legal entitlement to paternity leave in Ireland), there was a lot of talk about creating the group, but none of the men showed up. There are many issues which I am more then happy to support, lack or support services and awareness of male victims of sexual assault, rape and domestic violence, male suicide rates and mental health issues, the rise in male eating disorders as boys now have those impossible abs held up as what it means to be good looking, there is a list to be sure.

To date there is only one group/org which I feel I can show solidarity and support to and that is the men’s shed movement. Most of the other groups/orgs seem to waste so much time and energy condemning feminism and blaming it for all the ills that beset men. The men’s shed movement says that men are more inclined to talk shoulder to shoulder, working together then talk face to face, they do good work globally.

There are serious conversations needed, about what it means to be a man in society, the struggles men face. I do want these conversations to happen, I just wish they would happen to be parallel  to the ones women are having. I would love to see a hastag on twitter with men sharing the issues they have faced and deal with.

Just as I think there needs to be women’s only spaces to talk about what needs smashing and changing, I think there needs to be men only spaces to do the same and then we should be able to get together while respecting each other and offer support and solidarity.

 

 

 

 

 

 
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Posted by on June 5, 2014 in Uncategorized

 

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Voting Prochoice in your local Elections.

This is very hard to do it seems. Each county Council is meant to have a list online of candidates who are running and how to contact them. But from talking to friends, it’s spotty at best.

However as I have stated in my other blog it is easier for us to try and communicate with them and to pool resources with each other to ask the questions we think are important and that for me is who is ProChoice. If two candidates are weighing up for me equally this will be the decider, or may rule out someone who other wise I would vote for.

So here is a link to a list of all the candidates I could find who are running in the local elections and how to contact them.

https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1E386rHzLnsrlaejUzin63ImWBfOb8APm7xMCkcrUsfY/edit?usp=sharing

Also that really well funded lobby group had the time and resources to get a bunch of local election candidates to sign thier pledge, so here’s the list of who not to vote for https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B954SdlrGC2lc1dQVkN0cmtLN2s/edit?usp=sharing

I will be doing a round up of the EU Candidates tomorrow.

 

 

 

 
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Posted by on May 20, 2014 in Uncategorized

 

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Ladies who lunch? Part 1

So over the last 10 weeks my daughter has been in a Mindfullness program aimed at teens, to help them figure out their emotions, triggers and find ways to deal with a range of things, from negative thought patterns, panic attack, temper outburts. While the teens have been attending the 90min sessions some of us parents would go for coffee or lunch and chat.

The parents I did this with all turned out to be mothers, rather then fathers as it’s still expected or easier for them to get time off work to do bring their children or else they are a stay at home parent due to the extra care their child needs.

It was nice to spend some time with them and to exchange war stories, to know my kids ‘weridness’ is actually pretty normal for kids on the autism spectrum. Over the 10 weeks we laughed, cried, shared and reached a certain comfort level. Our last ladies who lunch session was this week. The topic of teenage sex and sex education and the pressures on teens to become sexually active was trashed out over lattes, tea and sparking waters.

The point was made that it’s not really that different from when we were teenagers and they started disclosing how old they were when they lost their virginity. This was the end of my feeling included and the same as them. I don’t even define virginity in the same way, or even sex it seems. I had to decide would I be the only one who didn’t share, should I share but only speak to part of my sexual history which was similar to them perpetuating bisexual erasure or would I flat out say my first sexual partner was a teenage girl like I was.

 

This

So I took a deep breath, while no one said anything mean or biphobic, some were startled, and there were a moment or two of silence. No one asked questions, but then the topic was swiftly changed to if anyone was going anyway over the summer holidays and how difficult doing that is with children who don’t cope well with a change in routine.

It was a few moments discord in what had been 10 weeks of all just getting along, but it still happened. It’s been said that we never stop coming out, but I can see why people stop, as it can make life easier. Maybe I just need to go to lunch with a different type of Ladies.

 
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Posted by on May 15, 2014 in Uncategorized

 

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A different ‘normal’ coffee with other parents of kids with ASD.

Today I am grateful the time I spent with other parents who have children who are 12 to 15 who have Autism Spectrum Disorders. While our kids were in a skills and social group sessions, under the care of professionals, rather then sit for 90 mins in the reception area, we managed to get away for a coffee and a chat.

All of us, kept our phones out of our bags and on the table, just encase the clinic needed to contact us, or in case our other kids needed us. We shared survival tips, stories of heart ache, frustration, small victories, what we have dealt with. Things which we have had to endure which usually we can’t talk to other parents about as it’s upsetting for them but is just part of our narratives.

It was also reassuring to share the things our kids do and did have in fact in common, things which usually separate them from other kids. “Oh, yours does that, yes mine did that to, or still does it, ” cue story about that issue and how we try not to laugh or roll our eyes, or get angry when we have to deal with it. It really normalises our experience as parents, which is so needed. We are not alone in struggling to manage our teens and trying to teach them to self manage.

One thing which came up, again and again was that, our lives would be easier and that of our children would be less miserable if ‘normal’ kids were not as cruel. We have enough to be dealing with, with out the damage to our children’s self confidence, self esteem and self worth, which comes from their peers. Esp in school environments, which we have to send them to, which they can come to view as not safe places to be in.

 
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Posted by on April 1, 2014 in Uncategorized

 

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You better THINK!

IMAG2174

Wonderful to see these up in my kids school.
It’s a good quick guideline.

 
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Posted by on March 11, 2014 in Uncategorized

 

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