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Tag Archives: sexuality

3somes and Blowjobs and Liveline, Oh my!

This week flew in with the kids being on Easter break so I’ve not written about this yet, but sure hear goes.

Yes I was on national radio this week for the first time, such was my ire at at the attitude on Liveline that I emailed the show. The segment was about the fuss Michelle “Fornication” Mulherin TD raised over one of the many articles on http://spunout.ie/.

For those of ye who don’t know what spunout.ie is, it is a website aimed at 16 to 25 year olds.

SpunOut.ie is a website dedicated to helping you make informed decisions about things which may be happening in your life. It is also a place to have your voice heard about things which are bothering you or to provide solutions to some of the big, or small, problems facing Irish society.

SpunOut.ie provides young people between the ages of 16 and 25 with the information and skills to deal with the difficult things life throws at us and lends a megaphone for our voices to be heard to change our own lives and the world.

An important part of SpunOut.ie is to give a voice to those who wish to tell their story in order to demonstrate to others that they are not alone, and that we all experience similar difficulties through the course of our lives.

We publish articles on sex, mental health, alcohol + drugs, education, employment and much more.

They are a registered charity and get a funding grant from the HSE which contributes to covering some of their over all costs.One of the many articles on the site was about 3somes, the pros and cons and addressing the facts. The notion that any tax payers money was being used to ‘promote’ 3somes to teenagers had Mulherin outraged.

It seems to have outraged some of the listeners and callers to Liveline also. I had been following the story about Spunout.ie from the night before and while I am not a regular live line listener I did tune in and got so cross that I emailed the show stating I am a stay at home Mam in my late 30s, with two teenage kids and I support the work Spunout.ie do.

They emailed me back asking for my phone number and then one of the production staff rang me and I was asked would I go on the show. Here is the podcast, I am on the last 10 minutes.

http://podcast.rasset.ie/podcasts/audio/2013/0325/20130325_rteradio1-liveline-controvers_c20177046_20177056_232_.mp3

Yes I did say, anal sex, oral sex, 3some and the phrase ‘promoting blowjobs’ live on national radio to Joe Duffy, who doesn’t intimidate me at all, sure he grew up in the same part of Dublin as my Dad and is about the same age and all. I did ring and tell my parents afterwards, as a polite heads up and they laughed and said they were proud of me.

You see back in the mid 80s they ran parenting courses in primary schools for other parents, including the sex educational model and they have always been advocates of sex education, so I didn’t lick it off a stone.

When I listened to the podcast when it went up I was happy to have been able to plug some more helpful sites where people can get information. I mentioned the sex ed program the HSE put together but has a difficult time distrubting to parents the first section of it is Busy Bodies
aim at parents and children before puberty and I also mentioned The Facts and the other programs which can be gotten for free, which the HSE have spent money on.

I also mentioned that the NHS in the UK spends money on Sex Education websites http://www.respectyourself.info/ and I mentioned http://www.scarleteen.com/ as good resources for young people, so much better at them learning about sex and sexuality then just by looking at porn.

Looking back I am glad I took part on the program, as Amanda Palmer has said “We are the Media” and we do have to challenge the the notion that Ireland is still a very conservative catholic country and part of that is having our voices heard, even on Liveline.

And having had Joe Duffy say “That if you are asked to be in a 3some, just say no.” still makes me laugh.

 
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Posted by on March 30, 2013 in Uncategorized

 

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Well it only took 20 years, public advertising for condoms.

It has been 20 years from when condoms were made legal for sale which did not require a prescription. But there has been still so much taboo and stigma surrounding sex and sexuality in this country that we haven’t had the same sort of advertising which you see in other countries.

This weekend I saw my first bus shelter advertisement for condoms,
here in Dublin.

IMAG0973 IMAG0972

Couldn’t believe it, but there it was an ad for Durex, the ad it’s self it eye catching and smart.
The text reads “The closer we get, the more our hearts race.”
With a small image of the branded box in the corner.

I think it’s classy and well done, and not a poster I would have an issue standing beside late at night in the city center, while waiting for a bus home. Well done TMW and this is the film ad for the campaign.

 
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Posted by on February 27, 2013 in Uncategorized

 

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Virgin selling condoms in Ireland.

http://www.virgin.com/richard-branson/blog/the-day-we-were-arrested-for-selling-condoms-in-dublin

The day we were arrested for selling condoms in Dublin

By Richard Branson -
Nov 19, 2012

When we were asked by the Irish Family Planning Association (IFPA) if we would let them sell condoms in our Dublin Virgin Megastore, we were happy to oblige. In May 1990 the IFPA were convicted for selling condoms in the Megastore and fined £400.

The IFPA appealed the conviction on Valentine’s Day 1991 and I testified on their behalf. On arriving late in Dublin, a policeman offered me an escort – and was shocked when I directed him straight to court! The judge increased the fine to £500 and warned future infringement could result in imprisonment. A certain rock band known as U2 stepped in to pay the fine.

It wasn’t until 1993 that laws restricting the sale of condoms in Ireland were overruled, while laws banning abortion are still in place. There are lots of groups, including the IFPA, still campaigning inside and outside of Ireland for sensible abortion laws.

I remember this, I also bought condoms in there, for myself and for friends. Chemists didn’t sell them unless you had a prescription from a dr. Condom vending machines were illegal, HIV/AIDS were a fact of life and still condoms were illegal here in except under very limited guidelines.

I remember when it became possible to by them and they had to sell them to anyone over the age of legal consent, but it was still a case of running the gauntlet and getting a very unwelcome reception in the chemist. Picking one in the city center or one which family and neighbors would not use and even then you could be left standing, for years condoms were strictly behind the counter and you had to ask for them.

And even then the assistant could say they had to check with the dispensing chemist I and certainly was a few times left standing, for anything from 20mins to a half hour, as it was clear they didn’t want to sell them to me and were hoping I would just leave.

Boots chemist changed that, condoms were on the floor of the shop, you could go and read the boxes and pick out what you wanted and mix them in with other purchases, for those reason alone they quickly became the place to go buy them where ever they opened up all over the country.

These days most pubs have condom machines in them, they are more available in a range of places all over the country. Attitudes have changed as well.
It’s seen a sensible to have them and not as immoral for women have have them.

These days I know I can go an buy a 2 for 3 offer on condoms and get 3 boxes of what I fancy with no one blinking an eye lid, compared to being treated like I had just asked for the head of the baby jesus and if I hung around long enough, I would eventually get them only when exiting the chemist to hear someone declare that I must be a Whore.

It was 19 years ago, in 1993 the laws changed, took longer for attitudes to change, but I am for ever thankful for the work the IFPA have done over the years and for people like Richard Branson and those who ran the stall in the Dublin Virgin Megastore for being so brave and bold.

 
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Posted by on November 19, 2012 in Uncategorized

 

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Third of pupils got no sex education | Irish Examiner

Third of pupils got no sex education | Irish Examiner.

This needs to change.
One of the infuriating things about it is that there is a comprehensive sex & sexuality education program which was developed to tackle this, but due to it clashing with the christian ethos of the overwhelming majority of school in the country it has not been rolled out by them or distributed to parents via the schools.

Those resources can be found here.
http://www.crisispregnancy.ie/publication/sex-education-resources/

 
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Posted by on October 15, 2012 in Uncategorized

 

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First Irish Fetish Flea Market.

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Time: 29 January · 14:00 – 18:00
Location: Outhouse, 105 Capel St, Dublin 1.

Welcome to the First Irish Fetish Flea Market.
A Place to sell leather, rubber, uniforms, boots, toys (except dildos, or the like, for health reasons… even if they are new and still in original wrappers), books, DVDs, bondage gear… etc.

There are two aspects to the Flea Market. The first if it gives anyone with old, unused or unwanted fetish gear an opportunity to sell it for a bit of cash. Second, it gives people a chance to …buy gear, especially anyone new to the Fetish scene wanting to start their collection.

We will take anything related to fetish… leather, rubber, uniforms, boots, toys (except dildos, or the like, for health reasons… even if they are new and still in original wrappers), books, DVDs, bondage gear… etc.

Sellers have two options. If they have a lot to sell they can take a table at €10 (to cover cost of hiring the venue). Sellers wishing to take a table should register before the day of the Flea Market (khayden@iol.ie). Or if they only have a small number of items to sell they can leave them with us to sell on their behalf. The fee is €2 per item and they can bring them along on the day, preferably before the Flea Market starts at 2pm.

Many people order things of the internet and when it arrives find it’s not really what they wanted or that they never get around to using it or find that it’s not really what they are into after all. So this is a change to have a bring and buy sale and is also a way to support Outhouse.

 
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Posted by on January 4, 2011 in Uncategorized

 

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Sqweel: a new type of sex toy!

When was the last time you saw an ad for a sex toy? For a lot of people it would be never. While you may have thought this was an ad for Civ 5 it’s for a different type of sex toy.

Most sex toys are usually things which vibrate or used to be penetrated or to penetrate someone with, this one is different and I have to say I do like the product design and how it comes apart for cleaning.

Lovehoney has been around from 2002 and has done well to make buying toys over the internet a none sleazy enjoyable experience and they do listen to feedback about the products they sell and they provide a community space for people to talk about sex, sex toys and to share experiences which many would not talk about to friends face to face.

In 2007 they launched the recycling program for vibrators (which I mentioned in the post ecogasm) and now the Sqweel. I wonder what will be next.

 
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Posted by on September 29, 2010 in Uncategorized

 

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Today is Bisexual Visibility Day.

What is Bisexual visibility day?
Well it’s a day to talk about and celebrate being Bisexual.

Bisexual erasure is something which happens a fair bit, it is the presumption that if a person who is Bi is in a relationship with someone of the same gender that they are now gay or if they are in a relationship with someone of the opposite gender that they are now straight.

The gender of the other person doesn’t change their sexuality they are still bisexual. They are still the person they were before.

There are a lot of negative assumptions about people who are bisexual and there is a lot of biphobia in society in both the ‘gay’ and ‘straight’ communities. The only way to try and reduce this is to talk about it and that won’t happen unless people are visible.

Celebrate Bisexuality day or Bisexual Visibility Day has been running for the last 11 years and has been spreading steadily.

There are groups and supports for those who are coming out as bi or who just want some support from others who understand.

Outhouse hosts a belong to group for teens to young adults and the Bi Irish group.

While a lot of people understand and accept people who are gay there are those who still don’t accept or understand that someone can be bisexual and that they are not greedy, or confused or afraid to come all the way out, or that they can not be in a monogamous relationship or that bisexuals are not likely to cheat more then anyone else.

Sexuality is not a binary, it’s not just homosexual or heterosexual there is a space in between, not everyone is one or the other some of us are attracted to people of either gender rather then just one.

 
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Posted by on September 24, 2010 in Uncategorized

 

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“The Dark Side of Birth Control:” 50 years of the contraceptive pill.

Found this article yesterday, it is nice for this to be spoken about.
I think too many drs just hand out the pill and expect women to read and understand the leaflet with it (which has tiny print and is in medical gobbledygook) with out explaining how hormonal contraception works or what the side effects might be.

Seem it takes women talking to other women to find out what the side effects are and so that we think we are not going mad.

www.alternet.org/sex/146041/the_dark_side_of_birth_control%3A_the_pill_still_has_many_adverse_affects_glossed_over_by_big_pharma

The Dark Side of Birth Control: The Pill Still Has Many Adverse Affects Glossed Over By Big Pharma
On the 50th anniversary of the pill, we need to appreciate this remarkable innovation while also being honest about its limitations.
March 17, 2010 |

As we get ready, in 2010, to celebrate the 50th anniversary of hormonal contraception in the United States, women have every right to stand up and cheer for a birth control option that has revolutionized how effective a contraceptive can be. “The Pill” and its descendants have indeed provided women with a unique tool that has changed the terms in which women control their social and professional choices.

Amidst all the applause, though, let us not oversimplify the history of a drug that has often coupled danger with opportunity, and indeed reinforced some serious inequities even as it promised to enhance women’s rights. Today, 50 years later, ovulation suppression through hormonal drugs still harbors many adverse effects, which range from mood swings and diminished libido, to fatalities from blood clots. The innovation itself emerged at the cost of experimentation on poor women, and came, in part, out of a desire to control the fertility of poor populations.

The pill was able to be born because of deep social and economic injustices, not solely as a response to them. The pill trials were conducted on poor women in Puerto Rico, in part because they had fewer legal protections against some of the dangers of new drug trials. Male doctors scoffed when female doctor Edris Rice-Wray suggested that the side effects of the new pill might be too numerous to be generally tolerable and carried on with hardly a pause when more than one woman in the trial died mysteriously. It turned out that Rice-Wray was right about the risks of the pill but wrong about women’s willingness to endure them.

It might be easy to see the approval acceptance of hormonal contraception as a pure female victory, and indeed it happened in part because women deeply hungered for reliable birth control. It is also true that it was moved forward not only to satisfy this need, but because of deep anxieties among the powerful that a booming population in the developing world would lead to the spread of communism, and that a similar growth in poor (and non-white) populations within the United States would cause domestic instability. Even as the pill offered the promise of liberation to affluent women it provided a powerful and easily abused tool for controlling the fertility of poor and disempowered women. Margaret Sanger realized this, and readily voiced deeply racist and classist sentiments in service of her otherwise valiant agenda.

Within just a few years of the approval of Enovid, the first pill, it became clear that women were experiencing serious adverse health effects. Barbara Seaman, a young journalist for Brides and Ladies Home Journal magazines realized how common truly frightening health problems were when she began receiving letters from readers. Experiences ranged from the aggravating —weight gain, mood swings, sexual problems—to the life threatening—blood clots and other potentially fatal problems including cancers. Seaman’s ground-breaking 1969 book, The Doctors’ Case Against the Pill, chronicled the suffering of real women on the pill and documented the multiple health risks tying the silence and lack of information about them to drug company greed, unequal power between doctors and patients, and sexism in American life.

It was a tough message for many women to hear, and certainly one that defied (and continues to defy) a narrative that argues simply that access to reliable birth control gives women power. But for those who were willing to take up the difficult implications of Seaman’s work, an important feminist model emerged. When members of DC Women’s Liberation disrupted hearings on the pill spearheaded by Senator Gaylord Nelson it was to protest the manipulative way the pill was being marketed to women, not to praise the product. Women were demanding something truly radical: the right to insist not just on access to contraception, but to demand that the products be safe. Today, while many valid questions about the pill’s safety and side effects remain, the hormone dose has been reduced ten times, and patient package inserts have been added to warn patients of the risks. This is due to the tireless efforts of the women’s health movement.

Women have certainly seen their lives and opportunities transformed in the past fifty years. While the pill is one powerful player in this remarkable story, this revolution has occurred largely through the persistent efforts of women (in multiple contexts and conditions) on their own behalves. The pill did not create second wave feminism. And likewise, it did not create all the changes that that remarkable movement oversaw. Those things happened because courageous women were willing to sacrifice and fight over time for them. In recent years, the reproductive justice movement, powerfully led in many cases by feminists of color, has made the point that single-mindedly striving for the right to birth control and abortion ignores the complex power systems that too often dictate the terms in which women make decisions about their health in general and their reproductive and sexual health in particular.

Laura Eldridge is a women’s health writer and activist. Her upcoming book In Our Control: The Complete Guide to Contraceptive Choices for Women (Seven Stories Press; June 2010) will be the most comprehensive book on birth control since the 1970s.

 
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Posted by on April 20, 2010 in Blogroll, irishblogs

 

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Sex with ducks

Riki “Garfunkel” Lindhome and Kate “Oates” Micucci sing a pro-gay marriage song in response to a Pat Robertson quote that legalizing gay marriage would lead to legalizing sex with ducks.

 
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Posted by on January 27, 2010 in Uncategorized

 

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YKINMKBYKIO

On twitter yesterday I ended up in a werid sex squick off with Sinead Cochrane and I was nice and took the time to consider what I should send her after her tweeting about Flesh Gordon.
(Yes Flesh, yes it’s a porn movie and an old on but not a good one unles you love the cheese)
After sleeping on it I decided to be nice, not knowing where her squick level is and just send her a link to Katherines Gear’s Fetish Map.

It is a pretty comprehensive piece of work there are a few things I thik are missing but it is impressive. Iwould love to have this as a poster or better yet as a set of table mats.

Her response was delightful. “@sineadcochrane: WTF. Toy boats?! “

I am nt going to embed the map but have only linked to it above as it may be a bit of a pandora’s box for a few people and car crashingly intresting.

But that is part of the joy of the internet, that people with diverse intrestes and diverse sexualities can find out that they are far from alone and dicuss thier kinks and fetishes with people who understand and so they learn that they are not as much of a freak as they had feared.

As the saying goes YKINMKBYKIO, “Your Kink Is Not My Kink But Your Kink Is Ok” and to miss quote Avenue Q I do believe that everyone is a little but kinky, in thier own way.

 
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Posted by on June 18, 2009 in kink fetish

 

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